Parking Ticket Fines and Fines
Here at the Zero Tolerance Protocol, we take parking enforcement very seriously. And by seriously, I mean we will fine you within an inch of your life for parking within 1.5 meters of a hydrant.
- First Time Offense: $500 fine, plus court-ordered therapy sessions to deal with your obvious parking-induced anxiety.
- Second Time Offense: $1000 fine, plus 1 month of community service for helping to pick up trash in the parking lot.
- Third Time Offense: $2000 fine, plus a 1-year probation for being an 'unrepentant parking scofflaw'
Don't say we didn't warn you. Don't park here.
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